Dear 2009 Lauren.

Dear high school self:

Funny how things work out sometimes. By 2012 you thought most of your friends, including yourself, would be married. Long married, in fact. You thought you would wait for your high school boyfriend and marry him. You thought you'd graduate from BYU in Speech Pathology and buy a house in Daybreak and have a pet beagle. You listened to Tilly and the Wall nonstop, wore fake glasses almost every day, and showed your feelings for things in pie charts (including feelings for boys on the football team, who you thought you wouldn't ever see after high school).

Now it's January 2012. You are twenty one. You are as single as they come; not to say you haven't gotten your feet wet in the whole dating game. You've liked someone so much it brought you to tears (Which embarrassed you at the time but then realized that really is kinda cool), you've liked someone 9 years older than you, and you've kissed someone you didn't like (facepalm). You don't really feel ready for marriage and haven't yet met the guy you're going to fall head over heels for. You are graduating from Therapeutic Recreation - a major that gets a lot of "Really? You are going to school for THAT?" or "You don't have a REAL major", but you are so happy and take classes with delightful people. You are best friends with some of the cutest boys in the world, including boys who in high school you thought were way too cool for you. You still write the cute football team boys while they're on their missions. And guess what? You're going on a mission too.

Funny how things work out sometimes, huh?

PS. Sorry though, bad news. You still look exactly the same and people think you're in high school still. Eh, you win some you lose some.

‘I will move, unless I feel it is wrong; and if it is wrong, then I will not do it.’

In a nutshell this is how I feel about going on my mission. I never had an overwhelming experience knowing I should go. I just thought about it and decided to move forward with faith, knowing Heavenly Father would let me know if there were some other plans for me. And there aren't. :) A mission is where it's at, people.

"...There may have been two or three ways that I could have gone, any one of which would have been right and would have been in the general area providing the experience and means whereby I could fulfill the mission that the Lord had in mind for me. Because he knows we need the growth, he generally does not point and say, ‘Open that door and go twelve yards in that direction; then turn right and go two miles...’ But if it is wrong, he will let us know--we will feel it for sure. I am positive of that. So rather than saying, ‘I will not move until I have this burning in my heart,’ let us turn it around and say, ‘I will move, unless I feel it is wrong; and if it is wrong, then I will not do it.’ By eliminating all of these wrong courses, very quickly you will find yourself going in the direction that you ought to be going, and then you can receive the assurance: ‘Yes, I am going in the right direction. I am doing what my Father in Heaven wants me to do because I am not doing the things he does not want me to do.’ And you can know that for sure. That is part of the growth process and part of accomplishing what our Father in Heaven has in mind for us." -John Groberg

taking a leap

Some days I sit and think about the decision to go on a mission and how scary it will be. I over-analyze everything I'm going to be leaving behind and all the things that will happen without me. But then I read inspired messages from apostles and realize everything will be okay. I'm ready for this new adventure. :)

"Some of you may wonder: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new semester, a new major or a new romance, a new job or a new home hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past?

To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come”.

Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever."

{Talk by the LDS apostle Jeffrey R. Holland found here.}